I’m procrastinating tonight – I should be preparing for being trained about training in Colchester on Tuesday, but having finally had a look at the homework I’m having a sulk instead. The trip to Colchester is to take place immediately after work tomorrow which calls for a degree of orgonisation and packing which is encroaching on my day off (worked on Saturday, working tomorrow, don’t want to think about work At All today) and which is also threatening to take a big chunk out of my week. Next week I’m being sent to Reading for two days which I’m equally enthusiastic about.
The sulk is because I have to be prepared to train on a non work related subject – a hobby is suggested, I need to be prepared to do it twice and provide my own props. Props? What do these people think I do with my spare time? And of course now I come to think about it I’m wondering what I do in my spare time (not really aware of having any spare time but theoretically...) that I can demonstrate. I read, and then I write about reading, and then I read other people writing about reading, then I have a look on amazon. When I’ve done with that I cook – so I know when a proved loaf is ready for the oven, and when a cake is baked from the sound it makes – but these aren’t really the sort of things I can demonstrate on the spot. I can identify several different sorts of bird, tell you it will inevitably come on to rain when you go for a walk in Scotland – unless your dressed for it in which case the sun will blaze down.
I can, and do, draw a bit, I can explain the social significance of an enfilade of state rooms, and take a stab at decoding a fourteenth century altarpiece – I don’t have one I can take along though. I can (sort of) assemble flat pack shelves but that doesn’t seem appropriate either. Normally I would have gone down the wine tasting route which is a hobby, but is basically also my job so presumably not allowed. I’m not sure how much the trainer would appreciate hard liquor being introduced to the group either.
Eventually I came up with an explanation of how hallmarks work. This is the best I can do. The Scottish one can tie knots as befits a sailing enthusiast, and talk Swedish – at least enough to impress me – he makes great scones as well (though I did teach him to do that). I clearly watch too much trashy television and don’t get out enough, but seriously – what would You talk about?