Sunday, February 14, 2010

D.I.Why

I know it’s a pun so old it deserves to be left in peace but I’m dusting it off and bringing it out anyway. Today’s post should have been a triumphant celebration of brand new (Valentine?) book shelves – like the scholar and gentleman he is the Scottish one took me to IKEA today and dropped me and a flat pack box safely off at home this afternoon. I dismissed his offer of help as befits an independent modern woman, I also dismissed my father’s hint of incredulity – but guess what – pride comes before a fall.

Bits laid out and dust flying (I really out to do something about hovering) I tried to make sense of the instructions. Three hours later having taken the shelves apart once to put in a bit I’d forgotten about, and again because of a bit that wouldn’t fit I am left with some exceptionally wobbly shelves which won’t go where I want them to thanks to floor boards which wouldn’t stand the scrutiny of a spirit level, and the lack of a back board that I don’t have room to slide in. I tried fitting it in other ways but all that achieved was frustration on my part and some damage to the (card)board board. Thank you IKEA.

The blond is coming round tomorrow and has promised some assistance – perhaps two independent modern women will be better than one. The handy (sic) illustrations for assembly suggest that it’s a two person job – which sounds like the beginning of a really crappy joke – ‘How many women does it take to build a billy shelf – two, one to... ah you get the idea. I do feel that I ought to be able to do this myself though.

If the blond and I fail then the Scottish one has promised to come round with his magic man wand and fix the problem – he assures me that this is a euphemism for a screw driver and that screw driver is a euphemism for nothing but screw driver. I probably owe him a bit of feminine admiration for his handy man skills as well as the opportunity to show them off, and I do want the shelves up and usable – it will be nice to have the floor back book free – but it’s still very galling not to be able to do this myself.

On top of all that my choice of bright blue shelves is not as satisfactory as I hoped (as the Scottish one pointed out might be the case and I have now admitted to him). Also my bedroom which was the only place left in the flat bookshelf free (though by no means book free) now not so shelf free looks a little bit to like a student room again. It seems I am destined never to be an adult, just to grow older.

And hold the press - I managed it, actually managed it all alone - and not as unsteady as in the picture here... So much for IKEA - I win. Right I'm off to arrange victory books without further delay!

9 comments:

  1. Personally I love the blue, Hayley. And I had such problems with my bookcase... think it was Argos rather than Ikea, so at least the instructions were in English, but it didn't improve things much. My abiding memory is having lacerated my hands with a screwdriver, and resorted to hammering in the screws... The bookcase leans forwards and to the right, but is wedged in place... don't think it will survive the next move.

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  2. Aaah... the lovely Billy Bookcase :-) I like the blue too and well done you for putting it together! I feel your pain. I love Billies but I've had one that thought it was the leaning Tower of Pisa. So now I tend to leave it to an able-bodied man (ahem, person) to put it together and then I can enjoy arranging the books!

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  3. Lovely shelves! I make my own too:)

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  4. I think the blue is lovely, and it will "glare" at you less once the shelves are filled. You can get little metal right-angles brackets and screw one side to the shelves and the other into the wall for additional stability, if you feel it is necessary, or maybe window wedges or slices from a wine cork under the front at the floor to angle them slightly backwards towards the wall. Please post a photo when they are full!

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  5. Congratulations, I'm filled with awe. I have no practical furniture building skills at all so I'm very impressed with your efforts. Looking forward to seeing a photo of the full bookcase.

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  6. this will be me soon. I'm having to try and get six of the things,However, I have asked to borrow my friend's spouse who is a superb craftsman and as he inclines to overdosing on chivalry I suspect he'll bring one of his sons with him so I don't hav eto do anything. As to becoming an adult I'm still waiting. One of the little girls I was coaching once said to me ' Daffernee, are you ever going to grow up/' out of the mouths of babes!!

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  7. I uite like the blue - it looks good in the photo!

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  8. Now the shelves are up, up in the place I wanted, stable, and filling up with books I love them again colour and all... Daphne - exploit that chivalry for all it's worth there was a moment when I got the shelves trapped in the doorway and had to crawl out beneath them that I really did wonder what I was doing! (as would anyone who had seen me)

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  9. You should have more faith in yourself! I knew that you'd get it done. I have not forgotten your determination to nail that bed together or any other number of DIY incidents. Should I tell your readers about extracting a broken lightbulb from my bathroom ceiling using only a pair of Marigolds and pliers?!!!!!!!!!!!

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